Cyberstalking Awareness was founded by a Generation X cyberstalking victim who is being targeted by a narcissistic psychopath in the Canadian Armed Forces with a long history of victims, violence, violations and vile behaviour.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
How We Came To Be
Lucy* is a pioneer in the field of cyberstalking. Eighteen months of intense cyber harassment, defamation, bullying, cat fishing, threats, hacking, social engineering and life sabotage by a military ex boyfriend and his accomplices left this vibrant 46-year old Canadian journalist, blogger, author, spiritual advisor and mother of two permanently disabled and on the brink of suicide.
Lucy is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), an INFJ and an investigative journalist. She hasn't been able to speak or use the internet until now. Over the past year and a half, Lucy says she has recorded hundreds of hours of videos to share with the world, taken thousand of screenshots and has been unable to safely organize, store or protect any of it. Although she's regained access to much of the information she lost, it has been too traumatic, time consuming and dangerous to post.The insights Lucy has made into the psychological and physiological effects and the practical implications of and remedies for cyberstalking are important to share and will help to save many lives. At great risk to herself, Lucy has decided to come forward and share her story.
Lucy is still being stalked and cyberstalked and the police won't do anything about it unless there is direct physical evidence, despite the law being pretty clear. The predator has a prior criminal record for this very same thing, she was successful in getting a protection order granted ex parte and she was able to disclose proof that a series of incredibly damaging crimes and violations were happening to her and that it had greatly impacted her life and left her disabled. There are at least twelve victims of this same individual on Vancouver Island, Canada, with many more suspected across the country. Criminal harassment, which includes but is not limited to stalking, cyberstalking, defamation and cyberbullying, is a psychological offense against the victim. It has been illegal in Canada since August 1, 1993 but has been largely unenforced, leaving victims to fend for themselves.
"Criminal harassment is subjective. It is the psychological impact on the victim that constitutes an offense in the first place. THE FACT THAT YOU ARE NOW CRAZY IS THE CRIME, FOLKS.
If you can show a pattern, establish motive and provide a direct link to the offender, provide corroborating evidence and witnesses and prove beyond a reasonable doubt that your life and mental health has been impacted negatively and severely by a particular individual that should be all you need to at least get services.
Your mental health is the proof, not his IP address on a particular day. The impact of cyberstalking is so damaging that federal law has deemed it criminal. Essentially that means that the department of justice is going to handle it for you. But they don't."
Lucy, CFB Comox, British Columbia Canada
Cyberstalking victims are not offered protection.
Instead, targets of cyberstalking are left exposed and vulnerable to attack. They are not taught, told or shown what to do. They are not offered protection by the very agencies deemed to provide them with protection unless those agencies can be guaranteed a conviction. And they'll never get a conviction if they won't prosecute.
This can be easily navigated with training in psychology and specialized units, referrals and trained victim's advocates. Until someone acknowledges this and treats victims accordingly, cyberstalkers are going to be able to do whatever they want. That includes driving you to suicide. And blocking you from calling for help first.
Lucy hopes that one of the lives she helps to save will be her own. She's been indirectly physically threatened by her predator's deranged family members and found that the secondary victimization she endured trying to report the crimes, find support, repair the damage, figure out what was happening with her accounts and devices, and get her life back was more damaging than the cyberstalking itself. Losing the ability to contact anyone and everyone you've ever met including your children, not being able to zoom, use the internet or access any money during the pandemic was torture.
What fresh new hell is this?
Cyberstalking is poorly understood. No one can teach us to make it stop or even how to prevent it unless they themselves have lived through it. Law enforcement and victims advocates give advice that can make things worse. Tech company employees are not allowed to help us; companies refuse to admit culpability as technical information such as modem settings has become “proprietary.” Customers no longer have the right to their own personal information so targets can’t get the proof the police need. Family and friends do not believe us. Lawyers won’t talk to us, we don't have enough money. Therapists don’t understand and talking about it seems to make it worse, because we just don't have the words to describe it and we're reliving it. Secondary victimization is common. Targets sometimes feel their only recourse is vigilante justice or suicide. 1 in 4 stalking victims seriously contemplates suicide. We aim to change this.
Cyberstalking is certainly a type of fresh new hell. Never before has it been possible to do this amount of psychological damage to one person in such a short amount of time. In order to heal from cyberstalking, you must first understand it and understand what the abuse is doing to your mind. You must also learn about the specific threat you are facing. If you’re being stalked or cyberstalked, the risk you face depends on the type of predator that has targeted you, how you react, how isolated you are and a few other factors that are not readily apparent. You must also learn how to integrate a purely cerebral experience with all nine of your senses in order to integrate the higher and lower areas of your brain and integrate the trauma so that you don’t become hardwired in a hyper-vigilant holding pattern. It’s not an easy task.
Cyberstalking is different than being hacked.
Being cyber stalked by an ex intimate partner is much different than being hacked by some anonymous dude in Asia or having your credit card stolen at a bar. It is deeply, deeply personal. No matter who the perpetrator is, the veil of anonymity the Internet provides to the criminal automatically places them in a position of power, allows them into every intimate area of the target’s life, makes it impossible for the police to take action and makes it impossible for the target to stop on their own. Not being able to safely use the Internet brings a litany of problems for anyone who wants to live in the modern world and needing to keep hacked accounts open for documentation purposes for law enforcement and lack of knowledge about stalking risks endangers the targets further.
Until now there has been no concrete guidance, advice, tools or tips for anyone who is being cyberstalked by someone who has lived it.
In order to heal, Lucy developed a seven-pronged approach similar to the one she took to recover from a devastating loss in the California wildfires. She thinks this approach could be helpful for any human being going through any type of trauma. Lucy’s approach combines evolutionary psychology and biology, cyber psychology, neuroscience, depth psychology, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and all seven of the chakras. It has nothing to do with the predator who is targeting you and everything to do with you healing yourself. Because, at the end of the day, that’s what we all found out. It was up to us to get secure, create a new identity, pay for the damage, heal the trauma and move onwards and upwards. No one else could do it for us.
We're glad you're here. We need you.
It is important to ensure you have comfortably completed each phase before moving on to the next. Be aware that phases can blur together and that healing occurs in a spiral pattern, not in a straight line. Brush up on your empathy skills no matter if you’re a target or someone who just wants to understand. Without empathy for yourself and others you won’t make it through this. You need to know that your experience means something and that you matter. We are pioneers together. Your story could very well save someone else’s life.
Please note that a standard approach to psychological trauma or mental illness such as psychotherapy and medication might not be the best approach for cyberstalking and may inadvertently make thing worse. We speak about types of therapy that worked for us and things that didn’t work in each healing phase. We are not mental health professionals but we do do a lot of research, interview doctors, therapists and world-renowned experts to get their take and experiment on ourselves. You may find other things work better for you or have new ideas. If you do, please let us know!
If you are thinking of hurting yourself, please don’t. We need you. It really is going to be okay. To put it into perspective, close your eyes for a second. There. The entire internet ceased to exist for that moment. Cyberspace exists solely in our minds and it is our minds we need to heal. We start that in Phase One: Getting to the Root. This phase contains great advice and practical tools and tips that you can return to at any point on your journey.
The information on this website is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. No information on this site should be used to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition--except being a target. We hope it's helpful to you or to someone you love. If you are feeling suicidal we implore you to reach out to a crisis line or someone you love and KNOW it’s going to be okay. If you agree, please enter and learn vicariously. Arm yourself with knowledge, support those you love and learn how to secure your digital life so that this can never, ever happen again.
And then…then tell the story of your escape into sweet, sweet cyber freedom.
* all names on this website have been changed to protect the innocent.